Toddler Mom

Apparently my child did not get the memo that she won't be two until May.  Isn't two when the mayhem begins?  Meltdowns and power struggles?  Tantrums and 'tude?  I'm good for another 9 months, right??  Wrong.  Girlfriend has other plans.  

I never worried about having a toddler .  I suppose as a new mom I didn't  have the foresight to think of anything more than what my been-there-done-that mom friends had warned me about.  You know, sleepless nights, latching issues, engorged breasts etc.  Baby shit.  Literally and figuratively.

Well, just like no one warned me about the crime scene that was my lady parts postpartum, no one warned me of the preamble to the much talked about Terrible 2's.  I shall call them the Whatthef*ckhaveyoudonewithmysweetbaby One's.  It's a mouthful, I know.  Let's dub  it WTF One's for short, k? 

I am the first to admit that toddler hood is a totally different beast than infancy.  And I am not ashamed to admit that I feel more incapable as a toddler mom than I did as an infant mom.  Maybe it's because I really didn't anticipate this toddler shiz until 2.  Clearly I was ill-prepared.  This girl is giving me a run for my money!

I'm that mean mom that totally takes pictures of her child mid-tantrum.  I'm too lazy to search for them I don't have any on hand at the moment, so, instead I'll give you some evidence of this whirling dervish child of mine.  This is what happens when I turn my back for a second.  A SECOND!

Girlfriend is in to everything.  If it isn't locked up or bolted down, it's fair game.  And in case you didn't know, I am a neat freak. Yes, friends. Truth = I find pleasure in a good scrub and get my rocks off when all the labels in the spice cabinet face the same way.  Crazytown from Sleeping with the Enemy has got nothing on me.   #ocdproblems

Surprisingly, these types of messes do not bother me.  She's a baby toddler and babies toddlers make messes.  Messes are her way of leaning about the world--Cause and Effect--they are a natural part of her development.  I gets it. I can handle the path of destruction she leaves in her wake. Because the truth is, I'd rather be playing and making the mess *with* her.  And truth is, I like to clean.  So, at the end of the day, when the house is quiet and she is asleep, then I can get my freak on and clean to my heart's content.

Anyway, back to the lecture at hand...The toddler shit that is really throwing me for a loop?  Not the messes.  Or the not being able to turn my back for a second.  Nope.  The things that are really giving me a dose of youaren'taspatientasyouthink are the tantrums and the mood swings {Wow.  That sounds a lot like someone else I know when it' that time o' the month.} So yeah, that's what's going on in this house.  A lot of power struggles with a healthy side of smirking when Mommy says "No!"

I know.  I know.  Just like the messes, the power struggles are a part of her developing self.  She's testing her limits.  Figuring out how things work.  She can't communicate her wants and needs and it's frustrating.  But unlike cleaning, I don't get the warm fuzzies from trying to shove my ramrod-straight-I-don't-wanna-sit toddler into a shopping cart when it's time to go grocery shopping.  Know what I mean?

And so I remind myself that it is another lesson in patience.  Fifty Shades has been shelved for the unforeseeable future time being and  Happiest Toddler on the Block has taken residence on my nightstand.  And it begins.  I'm a toddler mom.

Oh wait....I found some :)  

From smiles to meltdown to smiles in 30 seconds.

Caveat: And please, for the record, I am not complaining.  Not for one iota of a second.  I am not even gonna justify that lame thought one second further.