So What! Wednesday

This week I'm saying so what if...

• I put on make-up to go to the fire house to get Elena's car seat inspected.  Visions of hottie fireMEN were dancing in my head.  Too bad it was Brittany, the fireWOMAN, doing my inspection.  Womp Womp.
• My daughter's favorite toys are an empty tampon box and one of the dog's stuffed piggies.
• I am dying for a) a mani b) a pedi) c) an eyebrow wax d) ALL OF THE ABOVE.  Biting my nails is the only form of manicure these nails have seen since I moved to C'bus.  
• I thought the lyrics to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun were "What in the world can they..." instead of "When the working day is done..."  and still sing them MY way. 
• I fist pump in my car to Pitbull's Back In Time.  I still have Jersey plates and I don't give a #2.
• I had no idea that hashtags were called hashtags and had no clue how to use them b/c I'm quasi-moronic in the Twitter department.  #notaquickstudy
• I was super-dorkily-excited to try to do (?) my first ever hashtag just now.
• I like saying the word hashtag.

So, what are YOU saying So What! to this week?

Dear God, Thank you for my health, my family, and processed meat..

Two words. Pork Roll.  If you have never had it, you are seriously deprived and I feel all sorts of sorry for your ass.  Pork Roll, in all it's drool-invoking glory, is probably the only meat that keeps me from being able to claim myself a vegetarian.  Well, that and bacon, of course.  It is pure deliciousness and I have a serious hankering for it.  Yes, I just said hankering.  And no, I am not 75.

In case you've never indulged, let me school you.  It is a Jersey thing to the best of my knowledge and I'm fairly certain you can't find it anywhere else {Why? WHHHHHHY?}, at least not in these here parts I now call home.  Shame. In NJ, you can visit any diner, bagel place, food truck, or deli and order yourself up some pork roll or, as it's also known- Taylor ham.  The two are synonymous.  I grew up calling it pork roll.  I suppose it's one of those genericide thingys...Kleenex is to Tissue as Taylor Ham is to pork roll.  Any way you call it, it is fricking amazing.

It's a diverse little meat and can be eaten in a slew of ways, much like Spam I suppose, which ironically makes me gag.  I'm fairly certain the ingredient lists are probably scarily similar.  Please do not enlighten me if they indeed are. I would like my love affair with pork roll and my disdain for Spam to remain as is.  Thankyouverymuch.  My favorite way to order it up? Pork roll, egg, and cheese on a scooped out everything bagel or round roll with saltpepperketchup.  Oh yeah, baby.  At home I've been known to fry some up and eat it on white bread with mustard and lettuce. Who are you calling Whiskey Tango? Psshht. 

via

I would not be lying if I told you that I have a pork roll, egg, and cheese ornament for my Christmas tree, that I knew a Rottweiler officially named Taylor Ham, Egg & Cheese, and that those three words were bestowed upon the three embryos that were implanted in my ute during my last IVF.  Yup.  True Life.  I'd like to think that Elena was Taylor Ham. 

Milestone Monday....the Fist Bump

Seriously? 

My little baby has developed into a mini-human practically over night.  

She is no longer a baby.  

How the eff did that happen? 

I'll offer up some proof that she is, indeed, the coolest kid on the planet.

 She fist bumps.  

As in, gives knuckles; pounds.  

On command.  

Randomly during the day and first thing in the morning when I go get her from her crib.  

If she hears "knuckles' or "pound," up go them fists.  

  

Sometimes even two at a time.

Gah! I love this kid.

I have a crush on Jimmy Fallon

As if my school girl crush on Jimmy Fallon needed any further confirmation....

I have no shame.  Love the song, love The Roots, adore JF, and who doesn't love a Fisher Price xylophone.  Come on. 

Vlog Link Up...My faves

First time ever Vlogging.  I clearly decided to do this last minute-as evidenced by the poor lighting, over use of safety words, and my lovely attire.  No apologies for the no make up/frizzy hair look.  This mama has hit the gym 5 days in a row.  Holler.  As for the pirate eye, aaaarrrgh.  Thanks for that, Bells.Palsy. 

Wanted: Friends

Nothing like my first two followers to give this blog a heartbeat.  Thanks, gals!

My So What! Wednesday post woes of not having any friends in my new city lit a fire under my arse.  I have been here for two months and aside from a girl I stalked in Target who is now my FB friend and the rotation of Starbucks' baristas,  I don't know a damn soul. 

When I first moved here, I stumbled upon and liked a FB page that is basically a playground tour of the Columbus Area (Is it bad that I am still misspelling Columbus, and always want to spell it Colombus or Colombia on my iPhone)...Every Thursday they post a park for you to go to and meet up with other moms.  Again, inspired by my prior post, I threw caution to the wind, left dishes in the sink, said eff you to the errands I was gonna run, grabbed my child and hopped in the car.  It was 10:45 on a beautiful day, meet up was at 11, GPS clocked the park to be a 12 minute drive.  Perfect. 

I arrived in 12 minutes just as my faithful GPS said I would.  However, I was not at a park.  I was at the dead end of a cul-de-sac in a cookie-cutter-all-the-houses-look-exactly-the-freaking-same neighborhood. FUCK.  I hate being late.  Especially when I'm walking into an unfamiliar place without a plan.  My initial reaction was to go home, but I decided to input the name of the park on my iPhone map and try to find it.  By the time I got to THAT location my child was crying in the back b/c in my carefree moment of LET'S DO THIS, I neglected to feed her.  Awesome. Except, when I arrived, this clearly was NOT the park.  Yea, it was a park but not the one where all those unsuspecting moms were waiting for me to arrive so we could become friends  DUH.

So I parked, fed her, and then used my best map reading skills- which is not saying much- to find THE park.  And I did.  Finally.  At Noon. I probably would have driven around all damn afternoon to find it.  "I know you're out there stupid park!"  Yeah, I was actually saying that out loud.  I'm clearly a five year old.

I wish this story had some awesome ending where I met this really great girl with a baby just a few days older than my bug, but truth be told, I left feeling a little defeated.  A little like Mommy Wars may really exist.  And a lot like I did in high school when it was the week my friends decided to hate me.  That happens to everyone, right?

I struck up a conversation with a mom who was pushing her kids on the swings.  I guess I was hoping when I said I was new in town and had no family or friends here that would be her cue to invite me into her world.  Yeah, no.  Instead, she and her other Mom besties in their cute little gym outfits  started chatting it up about this teacher and that swim class, and so-and-so's birthday party. I just kept on pushing Elena, all giggles and smiles, which should have been enough.  But in that moment, it wasn't.  I wanted that camaraderie and familiarity.  That promise of "see you later" or "I'll call you."   They rounded up their kids and headed out together, never glancing my way again.  Not gonna lie, I felt hurt.  How ridiculous is that.  I'm a little ashamed to admit it and A LOT glad that my daughter is too young to sense it. 

Paul says I have to manage my expectations.  He's right.  Like usual.  He also reminded me gently that friendships take time and not to give up.  So I decided to go on one of those social meetup website deals and hunt for some mom groups in my area.  I picked one and sent a request and got a reply back in a few short hours...One of the co-founders gave me two play date times for next week to attend before I can become a member.  They like to meet in a public place before giving access to their group.  For shiz? I feel like I'm pledging all over again.  Yeah, that's right, I paid for my friends in college.  I'm not gonna lie, I got a little nervous.  I am somewhat socially phobic.  So yeah, this whole making friends thing is conquering fears, too.  I haven't replied back but I'm gonna go.  Really.   

So What! Wednesday

Linking up with the newest blog I'm loving and following...Shannon at Life After I  'Dew'...

So what if...

• I suck at blogging and haven't posted in over 3 months.
• I feel compelled to make excuses and tell you how busy I've been with our move to OH and Elena's 1st Birthday Party.
• I washed my healthy dinner down with a Nutella sandwich.
• I haven't put myself out there to meet other moms yet. I'll get there.
• I am jealous of all the bloggers out there who know how to personalize their bloggy world with nifty designs.  Yes, I had to google 'how to link up on a blog' b/c I forgot how.  True life.  
• My favorite thing about Ohio is the bar at my gym/pool. 
• I am counting down to the start of Big Brother.  Love that freaking show.  
• I am doing a link up and have no followers.  bahahahhahah.  I can laugh at myself.  

  So, what are YOU saying So What! to this week?