Once Upon a Dime

And we're walking

Seriously, time seems to be spinning out of control. Sundays blend into Mondays and by Tuesday I'm thinking it's Friday. Happy Hour, anyone?

In the midst of it all---the chaos, the fun, the tantrums---I've blinked and my baby has evolved into a toddler. Literally, a toddler. As in one who toddles around. She took her first steps a week after her 13 month birthday and has been teasing us with a few steps here and there for weeks now.

Finally, this past weekend, girlfriend really stepped up her walking game. She's got this sort of zombie gait {think MJ in Thriller} that gives off the vibe she's been swigging from Mommy's sippy, if ya' know what I mean. Relax, I do not give my kid booze...unless you count the Jack Daniels I rub on her gums at night to numb the pain. I kid. I kid. Though I can't guarantee my in-laws haven't tried it.

And, because I suck and haven't uploaded any videos yet, I'll just have to leave you with a picture of my big girl. The only thing cuter than a new-to-walking toddler....one in Crocs and a jean jacket. I die.

A Fair Weekend

I love a good fair. Or even a bad fair, for that matter. Where there's a fair, there's food. And really, who are we kidding? It's all about the food. For me, at least. I can do without the rides and can take or leave the games. But the food? Now that will get me to a fair any day.

Feeling close to home with the cheese steak.


Was this necessary? Nope. Did I eat all of that disgusting fried goodness? Yessiree.

I'm pretty sure they had everything you could imagine of the fried variety---snickers, PB&Js, grilled cheese sammies, buck eyes, and even smores, which sadly I didn't realize until after I ordered. I decided on a combo of fried Oreos and Nutter Butters, which did not dissapoint. I restrained myself from the Hershey's syrup drizzle they offered, ya know, because I'm counting calories and all. #backonthewagonMondayforreal. We also had an ear of roasted corn, which was probably the best thing I've ever eaten in my life.

I was a little bummed because Paul was manning the good camera, which had a full memory card {I must've forgotten to delete all the photos from my last upload off of the card}, so we didn't get many good pics of Elena's first merry-go-round ride. That might not be a bad thing, though, considering I get motion sickness and was fifty shades of green by the time that thing stopped. #thethingswedoforourkids. He did manage some cell phone shots. Ironically, I seem to be smiling, which must be the result of some Mom instinct that kicks in so you don't scare the living shit out of your child. But even my fake-ass perma-grin couldn't fool this kid. No tears were shed {by either of us, for the record. thankyouverymuch.} but she was clearly not a fan.


Smiles indicate we were not in motion yet.

Here I am lying to my child. "Yea! We're having fun!"

Clearly I deserve some props for that last shot. I mean, look at me. I genuinely look like I'm enjoying myself. The sunnies are hiding the fear in my eyes. Like I said, I could do without the rides. Adrenaline junkie, I am not.

It was hot as balls so we escaped inside for some air conditioned and even managed a decent family photo with what appears to be our State mascot....


Elena is totally still pissed at me from the Merry-go-round

So, despite the heat and the merry-go-round fail, it was a worthwhile trip for the memories, and of course, the eats. We're really trying to embrace being mid-westerners and I'd say this was a good start!

Friday's Letters

It's still Friday....better late than never, right? Couldn't miss linking up with sweet Ashley.

Dear Ohio weather, You scare the crap out of me. I'm trying to gain a little street cred with my tough-as-nails kid. Having her see me cry like the Mary I am isn't helping. So, please, next time let's save the whole thunder, lightening, and thrashing wind bit until *after* she goes to bed, or at least when Daddy is home.

Dear August, You're right around the corner. Which means 2 weeks in NJ is *also* right around the corner. #hurryup #motherland

Dear Husband's boss, You may just be the first dude to admit reading 50 shades. I am slightly intrigued by this admission.

Dear husband's boss's next girlfriend, Bow chicka bow bow. #boyfrienddidhisresearch

Dear Elena, I think it's so cute that you've discovered where the Cheerios are. My OCD clean freak self could care less when you dump half the box on the floor and sit there shoveling fistfuls into your mouth. Lola doesn't mind, either.

Dear pasty white legs, Why are you immune to the sun? Please, for the love of cute dresses, soak up some sun.

Dear KStew, Are you freaking cray cray? SMH.

Dear weekend, I'm ready!! Let's get 'er done right.

Make it a good one, peeps! enjoy! xoxo

Operation Boss Man

{Not sure why blogger is making my spacing all funky...sorry.}

Paul has been in Cincinnati all week and comes home tomorrow. He always brings his girls a treat whenever he travels. You know, a shower cap for me, a comb for Elena. Gotta luff him.

His boss from NY has been traveling with him and is coming to check out our crib and take us out to dinner tomorrow night. Totally stressing about where to go with a boss and a baby. And as far as the casa? I've done nothing to prepare, other than fill the wine rack. Pretty sure it'd be bad for business if my whiskey tango self offered the guy a pull from my wine cube in the fridge. I might as well just offer him a forty of Olde English. #thisonesformyhommies #sorryihadto

The only chance any of my to-dos are gonna get done is if they jump off my list and bitch slap me in the face themselves.

I have been such a procrastinator lately. I thought working out was supposed to make you have more energy {someone kindly remind me I've only been back at it for 3 days. #realitycheck}. I swear, once Elena is in bed I am good for nothing. Except eating, drinking and reality TV watching. All I want to do is ~~continue my search for the end of the internet~~ decompress. Not put away laundry. Not hang the picture wall. Not dust or vacuum. And when Elena is up? Forget it. All I want to do is watch her, play with her, savor her. I mean look at this face?

So I'm actually hoping for some rain and clouds tomorrow. It is the only way Operation Boss Man will go down successfully. Pray for me. And maybe, just maybe I'll pull it off.

So What! Wednesday

It's Wednesday and time for my favorite weekly link up!

This week I am saying So What! if....

I sniff my dog's paws, like, all the time. They smell like corn chips. I swear she's got a side gig at Frito Lay when I'm not looking.

I also sniff my daughter's paci when she gets up in the morning or from a nap. I know, it sounds gross, but honestly, I don't think there is a scent sweeter than baby's breath.

Every muscle in my entire body hurts from getting back on the wagon. Beauty is pain though, right?

I don't own a Kindle or a Nook. I love to read and feel like I'd be cheating on books if I wasn't actually flipping pages.

I still haven't posted pics from Elena's 1st birthday. I think I'm still in denial that she isn't an infant anymore.

Little Bear and Little Bill babysat my child today so that I could take a shower for our 10 am meet up.

I'm proud of myself that we made it to said meet up, which was at an ice cream place {The Graeter's by us has a huge indoor play area....fun-ness!} and I DID NOT, repeat, DID NOT order ice cream.

I consider ice cream a food group all its own.

I can't wait for Elena's Crocs to arrive. I loathe them on adults, unless you are coordinating them with scrubs, but think they scream cute on baby feet!

Crafting is not my strong suit but I DIY shit anyway. I blame none other than Pinterest for mom-guilting me into thinking I have a crafty bone in my body. Pics to come of the yarn covered ~~pain in the ass~~ letter "E" that I re-purposed from Elena's birthday to hang over her crib.

I've always wanted to use the word re-purpose. But now it looks/sounds weird because I've said it so many times.

Can't wait to hear what you're saying So What! to this week!

Halle-freaking-lujah

Halle-freaking-lujah to the following:

+Page tabs. I just figured out how to add them to the top of my blog. This is huge. Just because I am a computer nerd wannabe, does not mean I know a damn thing about computers. And yes, I realize there is no content. Baby steps.

+Baby Sleep. Elena has been ~~possessed by demons~~ teething for what seems like forever and her schedule, bedtime, naps, and eating have been all over the place. Teeth are on my shit list. But alas, she sleeps.

+Advil and my heating pad. War is being waged inside my ovaries and my lady bits feel like they're going to fall out from under me. There is just no ladylike way to put it.

+Wednesday. As in tomorrow. Also known as the day before Thursday, which is when Paul will be home. And Big Brother is on.

+ $$$ to spend on Shopbop. I totally forgot about a $300 credit I have from a Marc Jacobs diaper bag I returned. Whaaat? I must be mental. Who forgets that kind of shit. What should I buy?????

+Getting shit done. Instead of napping this morning when Elena napped {which was so enticing with the rain and the thunder and the gloom}, I checked some things off my list that I've probably been re-writing on it for months now: I registered to vote in Ohio, changed my address with the NJ dept of pension and benefits, and filed a crap ton of paper work. Done and done.

+These two. Love them. Total partners in crime.


Elena & Lola got into the bread drawer when I was making lunch.

Anything you are halle-freaking-lujahing?

Back on the wagon...and a link-up!

I'm the type of ~~procrastinator~~ person who needs to start things, particularly eating healthy and working out types of things, on a Monday. If I don't, then I'm more than likely making excuses that carry me and my muffin top all the way until next Monday. Sigh.

I have been feeling really crappy lately and know it has everything to do with what I'm eating {read: anything and everything} and what I'm not doing....working out. When I'm unhappy with how I look/feel {call me vain} I become depressed. Not to mention a beast toward my poor husband.

I haven't felt happy with my body in a while. Nothing fits right and I'm wishing it was acceptable to wear my maternity pants 14 months post partem. Getting dressed pretty much consists of temper tantrums in my closet that end with an apparel bomb in the bedroom. I don't want to leave the house in anything other than yoga pants and a wife beater. My uniform.

So I ate my way through the weekend knowing, come Monday, shit was going down. So, I'm officially back on the wagon.

Gym? Check.


Day one of Couch to 5k. This app is great...really kept me motivated.

I also did 10 girly push ups when I got home. Pathetic, I know. Hey, it's a start.

Cardio alone ins't gonna cut it. So, in an attempt to whittle my middle, I am linking up with Shannon at Life After I 'Dew' for a 30 day/300 Ab Challenge. Today was day one. Oh dear lord above. That ish is hard as a mo fo. I definitely had sucky form and could barely do half of the freaking exercises. I could hardly lift my leg in the shower to wash my foot. My whole body feels like jell-O. Tomorrow is gonna be FUN!

Unfortunately, for me, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that exercise isn't enough. I have to eat healthy if I want to feel good. Even after one day of drinking only water and eating right, I *feel* better. Basically less like a slug. I love the my fitness pal app and am happy to be back on the wagon with counting my calories. It works for me. Otherwise I'm eating triple the serving of most things I love. Goodbye, huge bowls of Peanut Butter Panic Ice cream.

Healthy eats? Check.