Bump update: Weeks 13-16

I promised myself I wouldn't slack when it came to documenting this pregnancy.  Despite feeling disconnected from writing lately {due in large part to ridiculous headaches I've been having} I've still kept up with my weekly bump pics and updates.  Finally getting around to posting them here.

Letting the World Know

Most of my immediate family and close friends know I'm pregnant again.  The ones who know our struggles with infertility and loss.  The ones who have been our biggest cheerleaders and greatest supporters. 

I wasn't sure how I felt about doing a big Facebook reveal to let every other Tom, Dick, and Harry know, but ultimately I decided I definitely wanted to share this exciting time with friends and extended family.  Facebook is good for mass sharing.  I'm sure you've heard.

When I was pregnant with Elena I don't think I posted one belly shot.  In fact, I know I didn't.  Maybe a tagged photo from my baby shower made it on my timeline. I never updated my status with how many times I peed the night before or to share the current state of my vulvar varicosity.  I dare you to google that one.  I am not one to complain in general, but I never would even dream of posting my pregnancy woes for others to eye roll.  'Cause that's what I do if you FB complain.  Especially about pregnancy.  I'm aware that I'm hypersensitive because all that I've gone through.  Even still, my threshold for public complaining on FB is very, very low.  We've all got problems.  And I guarantee someone is begging for yours.  I digress.

I actually felt bad posting about my pregnancy with Elena.  Felt bad because several close and dear friends, whom I knew would see my updates, were struggling with loss, infertility, adoption difficulties and the like.  I knew how it crushed my heart just a little bit each time I saw someone post SURPRISE! We're PREGNANT.  I hated being that girl.  But sometimes I was. 

After I had Elena, I realized I had been a little bit foolish in my thinking.  Sparing others feelings, while considerate of me, I suppose, sort of took away from my own glorious hallelujah I'm the freaking one that's finally pregnant moments.  I have always had a tendency to put others' feelings before my own.  This case was no exception.  Not that I would ever be one to gloat or attention whore myself to the point you'd want to block my updates {jeez, I hope that's not me}.

In any case, I decided this time?  This time I'm sharing it.  I'm making it Facebook official.  This exciting and miraculous time.  My first little miracle is becoming a big sister.  My body is carrying another babe.  I am doubly blessed.

If by chance, you are that girl, like I was, with a  hurting heart, I implore you....Don't let it break your spirit if your miracle hasn't happened yet.  Instead, let it serve to remind you to always believe and hope for what your heart desires.  Miracles DO happen.  My heart will be praying for *YOUR* miracle.

I did a photo shoot Monday in hopes of capturing a picture to use as our FB announcement.  My subject was less than cooperative for what I had in mind, but was adorable nonetheless doing her own thing.  Here are some of my favorite photos.  She kills me, this kid.

Winning shot.  Going live on Valentine's Day. 

Hopefully by the time her sister arrives, she'll have warmed up to the idea. 

Such a professional

Shirt

 

When you ask her, "Who's gonna be a big sister?" she points to herself like this and says "ME!"

My sunshine girl

ME!

Gender reveal + weeks 11 & 12

I'm a little behind and have some catching up to do.  Here are weeks 11 & 12.  Can't believe I'm kissing the first trimester goodbye.  I'm excited for the feel good high of trimester 2! Goodbye nausea, food aversions, and sloth tendencies. 

Aaaahhhh!  Yes, it is indeed a girl.  We are over the moon with excitement and couldn't be happier to be giving Elena a little sister.  I would've sworn up and down that this was a little boy.  I thought the same thing with Elena.  I have just felt so different this pregnancy.  I suppose it's just proof that every pregnancy is different, regardless of the sex.

The doctor called me last Monday (only a week after having the blood test) and gave us the wonderful news that all the chromosomal tests came back normal.  Feeling so blessed.  Paul was at the gym- I so wished he was home when I got the call, but he was home shortly after.  He guessed girl immediately....I'm sure it was written all over my face.  He was so, so excited.

Everybody asks, "Was Paul upset it wasn't a boy?"  Honestly?  He wasn't.  He "gets" girls now.  Being a girl Daddy.  He loves it and cherishes the special bond between a father and daughter.  He did have a look of "Oh Shit" in his eyes though, imagining 2 sweet sixteens, 2 weddings, 2 dance classes.  Good thing he is such a saver!

Giving Elena a sister is such a gift.  A built in bestie.   A confidant.  Someone to share clothes and secrets with.   I pray that they are close and that they will love each other fiercely.  That they will always be able to rely on one another and hold each other up in hard times.  That they will praise and celebrate one another in good times.  That they are always there for one another.  I cannot wait to watch them love and grow together.  This feels so right for our family.  My heart is full. 

10 weeks

I've been so happy to have had Paul home since last Wednesday.  Yes, you heard that right.  7 nights of him home.   We've been loving it up.  He leaves tomorrow but will be back Friday.  I'll take it. 

I haven't been loving the fact that I get hardly any face time with the computer when Paul's around.  He's a workaholic and uses our computer and his work laptop simultaneously when he's home.  Which means no computer for me.  Which means no blogging for me, either.  He has an iPad, but honestly?  Typing on that is not my idea of a good time.  Neither is blogging from my phone.  Oh, hell no.  There are talks of maybe getting me another Mac book so he can just have the old one all to himself.  Yay.  I like that idea. 

So, I'm behind.  But have lots to talk about in the coming days.  Starting with my10 week bump update.  Despite the fact that I'm 11.5 weeks.   I said I was behind.  I'll get the 11 week update on here before I hit the 12 week mark on Saturday.  Promise. 

Also....Also....I'll be doing the GENDER REVEAL this week, so stay tuned!  We got the results from our MaterniT21 test last night.  Weeeee!  So exciting!

Oh Hey, Thursday!

Well look at this....I'm actually blogging during Elena's nap instead of napping, too.  Probably the first time that has happened since we got back to Ohio.  ::pats self on back::

It's a good Thursday.  Lots of thankful thoughts and I just couldn't quiet my brain enough to sleep.  So, instead, I'll ramble write.

I had some serious bad dreams last night.  Legit, waking up sweating and taking a good minute or two to figure out where the hell I was kind of dreams.  Nothing scary, just really long, drawn out dreams.  One took place in the house I grew up in.  I was having a fight with my mother.  It was awful, out of character,  and made me cry when I woke up because I felt like I had this opportunity to spend time with my mom and I f'd it up by fighting with her.

One of the other dreams was about my OB appointment.  I left Elena at the office in the stroller and forgot to ask the doctor all the questions that I had prepared.  When I realized, the office was closed.  Typical night-before-meeting-a-doctor-for-the-first-time anxiety dream.  I have the craziest, most detailed dreams ever.  So real and terrifying.

Have I made it obvious that I was really nervous about my appointment today?  This was my first time meeting my new OB and that anxiety, coupled with the general fear of "What if..." that always accompanies any of my pregnancy appointments had me feeling extra pukey this morning.  And let's not forget my little partner in crime that I travel with.  You know that crazy, yet oh so loveable toddler I talk about around here?  No mincing words here.  Mama was skeeeered to death to bring her to the doctor by myself.  I knew it was gonna be a lengthy appointment with the regular intake stuff, consult with the doctor, internal exam/Pap, and ultrasound. 

If you could have seen all the crap that I had with me. Good Lord.  I looked like a homeless person pushing around a shopping cart containing my entire life, except I was pushing around a stroller.  I was armed with toys, the Netflix set up on the phone, and snacks up the yin-yang.   She had a few feisty moments but overall was a gem and stayed strapped in the stroller the entire time without protest.  I promised her I'd take her to Graeter's to play and have ice cream if she behaved.  What?  Don't judge. 

As for meeting the doctor?  LOVE.  LOVE.  LOVE.  I am so freaking excited/happy/overjoyed at the decision I made choosing her.  I mean, seriously?  I asked her if I was going to get an ultrasound picture and she giggled and said, "I love pictures! Of course!"  And she proceeded to give me 14.  FOURTEEN pictures of my little baby.  And I do not say baby loosely.  This little nugget *REALLY* looks like a baby now!  I'm talking fingers, people.  Baby #2 was waving.  With real little fingers.

Waving!

Umbilical cord on the left & fingers/hands on the right.  Amazing.

Everything looked great.  Heartbeat was 174 bpm, which, if you go by the old wives tale, means it's a girl.  BUT.  And this is a huge BUT, we thought we may have seen an appendage of sorts between the legs.  Yes, a penis.  A freaking PENIS!  She put a little arrow pointing to it and took a picture *just in case* Baby #2 really winds up being a boy, we could say we knew it at 10 weeks.  Ah-mazing.  I'm not going all snakes and snails and puppy dog tails *quite* yet, but it's still fun.

Potential boy parts???

Actually, I will probably know the gender for certain by the end of next week, which seems just crazy to me.  Especially since I didn't know Elena was a girl until 20 weeks.  Apparently because I'm special 35 and considered Advanced Maternal Age {say whaaaaat???} there is a new blood test they do that takes the place of the Ultra Screen that is typically done between 11-13 weeks to provide risk assessment for chromosomal abnormalities like Downs Syndrome and Trisomy 18.  A simple blood test that actually is able to test the fetal blood from my blood.  It also detects the presence of Y chromosomes.  So, along with greater accuracy of detetcting any genetic disorders, it tells you the gender of the baby.  It's called the MaterniT21 test.  And it's perfect for impatient people like me.  So excited.  I go Monday and the results take about a week to come in.  Holy 11 week gender reveal.

I've made all of my future OB appointments through the end of April.  They are all on Fridays, which hopefully means no more anxiety ridden dreams from fear of bringing the toddler with me alone, since Paul is usually home on Fridays.  

I'm incredibly thankful today.  As I am most days, but especially today.  I tend to imagine the worst in between appointments, so there is nothing more gratifying than seeing that there really is this precious little miracle growing in my belly.  God is good.  And Paul comes home today.  Another reason to be incredibly thankful.

And look at that....a post is done.  My child is still asleep.  You know what that means.  I can probably squeeze in a little cat nap :)

A good day, indeed.  Happy Thursday, friends. 

Having some pancakes in the waiting room. She does not look impressed.

9 weeks

So I intended to post this on Saturday when I was actually 9 weeks but it obviously didn't happen.  In fact, it's pretty much a miracle that it's even happening now, considering my getting-things-done-o-meter is still on empty.  But, documenting this pregnancy is important to me and keeping up with my blog is, as well, so I'm getting it done.  I've got the Bachelor on for motivation.  Nothing like a bunch of bikini clad crazies crying over beach volleyball to make you feel capable.

This week was pretty much the same as the last, with the exception that Elena and I actually left the house...which was great for our cabin fever.  I still have a cough, but overall we are both feeling so much better.  I find that if I get out and do something, breaking up the day a bit, we are both much happier.   I feel like a crappy, lazy Mom otherwise and  it's terrible.  I haven't been the best playmate for her lately so it was good to get her out of the house.  Must remember that when I feel like I have no energy to do a damn thing. 

My progesterone shots are my biggest complaint this week.  I am so grateful that I'm still taking them.  It means I'm pregnant and it's sustaining this growing life inside of me.  But for some reason, this time around, they are awful.  I can hardly walk and my lower back just sort of blends into my butt because the lumps are so big.  They don't hurt going in, it's the afterburn.  Like two dead legs but in your butt.  I've been having the nurse at my OB do them when Paul is away because I just couldn't do them myself any longer.  It's a huge waste of time but it's the only choice I've got at the moment.  My last shots are on February 2nd.  Holler.

Per the usual, I count down the days until Paul comes home.  He is such a big help when he's here.  Just someone else to play with Elena, change her diaper, fold laundry, take out the trash.  He really is a doer and doesn't stop the entire time he's home.  I'm very lucky.  I cried today when he left and I felt bad, knowing it's hard enough on him to leave us as it is.  But it's hard.  I hate goodbyes.

My belly feels a little bigger this week.  I haven't gained any weight but my pooch is sticking out a little bit more.  I can't wait until it looks like a cute baby belly and not just a spare tire sort of gut thingy.  I'm living in my leggings, yoga pants, and skinny jeans, which are nice and stretchy, so hopefully they fit a while longer.

Food is still unappealing when I think of it.  I miss craving and enjoying things like guacamole and coffee.  I've survived this week on a gross combo of veggie subs from Subway with lots of vinegar or Spagettio-o's.  With meatballs.  Cue vomiting.  I know.  This is coming from someone who was a vegetarian for 11 years and still is weird with meat. I also load it with parmeasan cheese.  Not sure but I think it makes me feel like it's less Honey Boo Boo more gourmet that way.   I've also been able to start eating ice cream this week.  High fives all around. Peanut Butter Panic, to be exact.  It's reaaaaaallll good.  Peanut butter and Jelly is still my friend, too, and I'm pretty sure mainlining OJ is in my future at the rate I'm drinking it. 

I'm excited to meet my new OB this week.  Have my first "real" appointment Thursday!